Britney Spears next to my ‘Britney’ spear.

Here’s the thing. I totally get that the #FreeBritney movement means well. This poor woman needs help. However, it’s really hurting my business of selling custom spears (the weapon) with the name ‘Britney’ on them.

Yes. That’s all my business does. We print the name ‘Britney’ on primitive weapons and sell them on Etsy. We sell them for $72 USD. Not bad, right? What’s the issue you ask? Well because of this trending #FreeBritney hashtag, my customers have been under the impression that these ‘Britney’ spears are free. Like hell they’re free.

Do you know how much it costs to…

“Sesame Street: Monster President | Elmo the Musical”

Primary season is almost over and it looks like Former Vice President Joe Biden is the presumptive Democratic nominee for the 2020 election. But what if the Democrats had other choices? Sure, we had Bernie Sanders who seemed to be the fun, socialist grandfather at the family reunion. We also had Elizabeth Warren, who resembled your favorite aunt that never got married. However in recent weeks, another prominent figure has caught the eye of young future voters. It’s time to consider what life would be like in Elmo’s America.

The 3 1/2 year old muppet is currently in the spotlight…

Eoin Wenger

Writer/stand-up/person. Real original, I know. Instagram & Twitter: @eoinwenger

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